Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Still Grieving, Still Guilty

It's been almost a month since I lost my beloved Bowie.  I'm still in so much pain!

I have tried to love another...I have been caring for Bowie's sister, Angel for almost a month. I have decided not to keep her.  It's not her, it's me.  I just don't love her like I did Bowie. She deserves to not live in her sisters shadow. She deserves more.

And I still and think always will feel so guilty.  A day has not gone by that I have not relived those few moments before the accident. Each time, I make different decisions and there is always a different outcome...one which results in Bowie being back in my arms. Stupid, stupid, stupid.  I was so stupid. I know I will never make those same mistakes again. I'm just so sad that it took losing Bowie to learn that lesson.

On a happy note, I now have a fenced in yard.  Arrow does not know what to do with his new found freedom...Although I am still very paranoid about escape and probably will not allow unsupervised romps for a very long time.

So, please this  holiday season hug your furkids a little closer and more often. Never take them or their  good behavior for granted. And if you wish to do something to ease my pain...please make a donation of money, food, blankets or toys to your local animal shelter in memory of my beautiful Bowie.

Thank you